I'm the hero of the story don't need to be saved
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So, there’s this girl. She’s tragically orphaned and richer than anyone on the planet. Every guy she meets falls in love with her, but in between torrid romances she rejects them all because she dedicated to what is Pure and Good. She has genius level intellect, Olympic-athelete level athletic ability and incredible good looks. She is consumed by terrible angst, but this only makes guys want her more. She has no superhuman abilities, yet she is more competent than her superhuman friends and defeats superhumans with ease. She has unshakably loyal friends and allies, despite the fact she treats them pretty badly. They fear and respect her, and defer to her orders. Everyone is obsessed with her, even her enemies are attracted to her. She can plan ahead for anything and she’s generally right with any conclusion she makes. People who defy her are inevitably wrong.

God, what a Mary Sue.

I just described Batman.

5 hours ago • 79284 notes

naturallywholocked:

if a girl asks you for a tampon, I dont care how much you hate that bitch if you have one you hand it over no one deserves that level of hell

5 hours ago • 64906 notes

j6:

You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon

5 hours ago • 16 notes
hedgeworth:

Seeing will.i.am’s name translated into another language as though it were Will, I Am and not just William is fucking hilarious. 

hedgeworth:

Seeing will.i.am’s name translated into another language as though it were Will, I Am and not just William is fucking hilarious. 

5 hours ago • 180353 notes
pillowtown:

My dash did a thing

pillowtown:

My dash did a thing

5 hours ago • 2609 notes
5 hours ago • 71479 notes

rabioheab:

it’s time for leo dicaprio to give up on his acting career and open a coffee shop called Leonardo DiCappuccino 

5 hours ago • 239538 notes
gwydtheunusual:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

I always reblog the loneliest whale. I wish they could hear you lovely girl. Your pitch is just out of their range. You talk and no one ever hears you. Not a sound. Maybe someday you will find a deaf whale that can’t hear anything and won’t know the difference. Then you can find some happiness. Good luck whale. I’m still rooting for you.

gwydtheunusual:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

I always reblog the loneliest whale. I wish they could hear you lovely girl. Your pitch is just out of their range. 
You talk and no one ever hears you. Not a sound. 
Maybe someday you will find a deaf whale that can’t hear anything and won’t know the difference. Then you can find some happiness. 
Good luck whale. I’m still rooting for you.

5 hours ago • 25011 notes
5 hours ago • 138842 notes

pregnat4:

my whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the bitchy comment

5 hours ago • 167073 notes

so i was in the bus with this granny by my side when we spotted two girls kissing by the bus stop. the granny turned to me and said “these girls are so pretty. at their age i was pretty ugly. well, maybe that’s why i had to marry a man” i almost died omg

5 hours ago • 543679 notes

applecherry108:

A character can still be a great character without being a good person.

In fact, some of the best characters are terrible people.

Because a character’s worth should be based on how complex and interesting they are, not their morality if they were real.

5 hours ago • 9281 notes

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
5 hours ago • 71752 notes
5 hours ago • 4966 notes
acxadental:

jaybarou:

harzilla:

fallen-angel-with-a-shotgun:

dajo42:

if you dont have me on facebook you are probably not missing out on any posts but the comment section is important too lmao

I went to the Renaissance faire dressed as a warrior.  I had a real sword with me, too.  I was standing (in character) next to a sword-fighting ring, where kids of all ages got the chance to pick up a sword and challenge the champion.  Some woman walks by, with her little girl.  The girl starts walking towards the ring, saying she wants to fight.  But the mom pulled her away hella sharply, and was like, “That’s for boys.”  You don’t want to be a BOY, do you?”    And the girl looked around and saw me.  I think she thought I was a boy; I had my hair in a ponytail, and was wearing a hood.  So she comes up to me and asks me, “Do you think girls can be fighters, too?”  And her mom looks like she’s silently gloating.  Like she thinks I’m going to say no.  So I take off my hood, untie my hair so that it flows freely, and kneel before her.  And I’m like, “Milady, anyone can be a fighter.”  I swear, the look on that mother’s face made my day.

-



IT GOT BETTER THAN IT ALREADY WAS

acxadental:

jaybarou:

harzilla:

fallen-angel-with-a-shotgun:

dajo42:

if you dont have me on facebook you are probably not missing out on any posts but the comment section is important too lmao

I went to the Renaissance faire dressed as a warrior.  I had a real sword with me, too.  I was standing (in character) next to a sword-fighting ring, where kids of all ages got the chance to pick up a sword and challenge the champion.  Some woman walks by, with her little girl.  The girl starts walking towards the ring, saying she wants to fight.  But the mom pulled her away hella sharply, and was like, “That’s for boys.”  You don’t want to be a BOY, do you?”    And the girl looked around and saw me.  I think she thought I was a boy; I had my hair in a ponytail, and was wearing a hood.  So she comes up to me and asks me, “Do you think girls can be fighters, too?”  And her mom looks like she’s silently gloating.  Like she thinks I’m going to say no.  So I take off my hood, untie my hair so that it flows freely, and kneel before her.  And I’m like, “Milady, anyone can be a fighter.”  I swear, the look on that mother’s face made my day.

-

IT GOT BETTER THAN IT ALREADY WAS

5 hours ago • 117541 notes